its been quite a rollercoaster ride i must say.. shortlived joy...confusion... fear... remorse.. GUILT.. and lastly, disappointment.. but no, there're no regrets.. its weird definitely but its gotta be smtg worthwhile.. wish i could turn back the hands of time to the very beginning and do certain things tt i sld have done..why did we not know abt it earlier?? at this junction, i must re-quote serene: "no one means all he says and very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thoughts are vicious" but how is it possible to race in the opposite direction of time?? no, its not possible so snap out of ur dream and do wats rite..

never ever have i imagine myself to be in this position. it was so easy to be rational when u are outside looking in .. but when u are in it urself, one often get so lost in the moment tt the almost impossible seems so near .. yes, i know its wrong to even think of tt but can i help it when im only human?? when im only just an ordinary girl?? in me, there exist a mountain full of self-doubts and disapprovals but the stubborn me refused to rethink my actions and given another chance, ill do the same.. its not fair to the parties involved, i know..but can i just be wilful for once?? just this once?? i know im screwed-up.. i even despised myself for my evil tots .. but...... im just no angel.. im sorry.. im no angel..

someone up there watching must be mocking at me.. wad a joke.. i laughed. get out of ur fantasy world, sweetheart, just GET OUT!! stop being so naive and stop digging a shit hole for urself to fall into.. its a bottomless pit for there's no other outcome to anticipate apart from ur heart being teared into a million pieces.. so get ur arse out b4 u have to pick up the pathetic pieces of ur heart on ur own.. dunch u ever learn from the lessons u've been thru??? and rem wad u believe in... KARMA.. wad goes ard comes ard, wenn. this is exactly wad u believe in remember???????????? ..... once, twice, thrice.. the prob is me i guess... can u just tell me wad's wrong with me?? why do i always get stuck at the dead end this way?? if this is a test of analytic abilities, endurance, and threshold of pain, God, its far past my limits, its pretty much enough for me cos tt's as much as i have in me... spare me from all these.. i dun ask for more.. i just wanna have a simple life.. be a simple girl tt i always am...

** be happy alrite??