just spoke to edd on the phone.. honey, wad will i do without u?? today muz be the most terrible day for me ever since the ordeal came to an end.. there i was sitting down on my unfamiliar sofa, watching 'zhen qing' (yes u got me rite.. the old HK drama which i nv fancy) with tears trickling down my emotionless face... wth??!! i mean its 'zhen qing' im watching... my god.. wonder wads wrong with me these days... so many things had happened and i din show the slightest hurt or sadness, instead im sobbing for some skillfully written script, designed to activate tear ducts...

perhaps i cld too well associate with the scene tt kinda triggered my tots direction to recollect the recent events, askin myself why are things happening the way they did.. this was when i reached out for the phone.. wanted to dial a number all so familiar but decided against it, reason being nothing i get from the other end will make me any happier..then tot of calling this other person tt ill very much like to talk to but again, i decided against it cos i know it probably will only put the person in a much worse off position.. then naturally, my fingers began to dial this no. tt ive called so many times b4.. EDDIE.. my man.. this wasn't my first choice no. to dial to be honest.. cos i still rem how he got all pissed off with wad i did a couple of days ago, and the disagreements we had over different opinions on certain issues.. and given the type of conversations we had there after, which basically has got not much content other than the usual 'watcha doing?', 'why u sound so sad?', 'nothing much', 'talk to u again'.. i reli wonder wad will turn outta this call.. but im glad i called, honey.. thx.. for repeating all those things u've said to me a hundred times b4.. i know nothing ever reli get into my thick numb skull which explains why im so stubborn.. im glad u din give up on tryin ur logics on me again =) makes me feel much better already =)

yeah a fren happened to be in the same boat as me.. ~Quelle Chance!! mais c'est ne bon pas... hmm just be strong girl and be gd.. will be over soon.. once in a while u'll get the kinda attack i just got..haha but it ain't gonna beat u girl.. u know u're stronger than this =) cheer up!!