okie i realized my blog has been rather depressing lately (tt's y im gg to change the song =P ) and has sparked off a series of out-of-concern smses/calls checking to see if im still alive.. but worry not frens, ive somehow spun outta the dark days.. hahah.. now i cant be more sure tt its pms at work.. on reflection, i figured tt dwelling on a bad day only serves to bring down the rest of the days coming.. so after 3 days of isolation, i decided to step outta my shell and embrace the day with a whole new attitude and resolution ie. study hard and be happy and god will take care of the rest..

oh yeh b4 i start studying today, i tot ill surf ard to see if there're any interesting sites and i happened to chance upon an old fren's blog. (btw, is it rite to read without the owner's knowledge?? moral diemma..but anyhow, since its a public blog ill take it as im just another member of the public..who knows she might be reading mine too ?? haha..oh in any case if u are, its me here saying 'HI')

read abt how she's happily in love and making big plans with her hubby-to-be, even got an apartment already, mind u, she's only 22 like me =) felt reli happy for her but somehow, something is holding me back from a direct contact with her to congratulate her. yrs ago, we were like the best of frens, perpetually hanging out everyday after sch, did a lot of silly stuff tog, had a lot of wonderful memories and even talked abt how we'll still stick ard when we grow up and become taitais and mj and shop and have kids and our kids have their kids.. somehow, everything came to a full-stop when we moved on to the next phase of our lives. tho very much in the same compound, we nv ever meet except for the first few common lectures we had in yr 1.. attempts to keep in touch were nv reciprocated and things made worst when things over at nus side turned sour.. so just like tt, we no longer exist in one another's lives. initially, i was pretty upset abt it but after a while i kinda grew to accept tt forever dun ever exist, its inevitable tt pple change and choose their own paths in their own rights..and so i tot she din matter to me anymore until when i read tt she refers to me as 'a training mate' and i looked up and realized tt i still have so many of our old photos on my desk and a sweet note from her dated 4 yrs ago still rest prominently on the board. she was still very much a very good fren to me, not just my 'training mate' i guess..