not reli an approprite time to blog since i haven study the whole day.. but i might as well since the study mood reli isnt there tonite =) and a song just brought me back to a couple of mths ago..

"Angels Or Devils"

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all -inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly

the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever
gonna come back down come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time that
I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see
still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly

the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

okie this gotta be one of the last few songs tt mark the end of the chapter.. tho it wasnt explicitly sent to me, i know its on the blog (and im surprised the blog is still there) since the day it was posted and i know it was intentionally blasted it in the car tt day. wadever i dun say doesnt mean i dunno, i just felt tt it wasn't appropriately used by YOU on ME (as we can see more clearly now on hindsight..) , which was y i chose to ignore and honestly, i think i cld see 'wad blurs and wad's clear' more than you at tt pt of time.. not tt it matters to me anymore but i tot ill just do myself a favor by saying wad i shld have said for myself. i duno if u're reading. but i guess prolly not. if u are, "Hi" and maybe the least u can offer is a "Hi back" =)

looks like i might be back next sem for a better reason. 2 subjects instead of just 1.... more efficient use of sch resources anyway.



20minsfor35marksSMARTme!!
whatthefreakinghell???????????????

i cant believe i gave myself a break today... yes i did.. one whole saturday passed by just like tt.. din do any work at all. zero.. all i did was sat in front of my fav square box and watched the hour hand rotate one full round, 9-9.. it actually felt good!! and there's not even a slight tinge of guilt or remorse at all.. i feel rejuvenated..whaha..i know im not good for myself, gonna get really stressed and upset the next few days if i cant do my revision in time..but well ive kinda speed read everything already.. so... yeah just pray hard it wun be too tough (fat hope!) ..

yeah anyway, good news! my ever-so-lovable dad agreed to buy me new furniture and repaint my walls! and the best thing is he will get me and my sis another scv pt.. and my darling sis, being the most giving sister and my best fren in the whole wide world, said i can have it installed in my room!!! whahahahahaahah... now we dun need to fight over the teevee with my dad on soccer nites..hahaah.. life's good! think my dad saw this coming as my graduation draws nearer.. poor thing.

well another thing to be happy abt these days is tt my hunny bunny is more serious abt getting a job in sg now.. well i guess wadever he told me on april fools' day turns out to be more of a 'joke' (i hope..).. yeah i know he meant it but somehow i just hope otherwise la.. and now u know why i din reli talk to u for a while after u told me tt.. cos i was freaking PISSED! and i din want to talk abt it cos i know it will affect me and my exam preparation.. but since u showed u're having alternative plans (which of cos is a better idea!) i shall forgive u..hehhee.. know smtg, i reli wanted to ask u to stay but i duno wad gd reasons i can come up with.. and i dun wanna be responsible for ur misery if things dun turn out well here... u know.. just like i duno how to tell wein i wished he din go away. so yeah im sure im not the only one who wants u to stay but ultimately, its still ur choice i guess.. i din stop u 5 yrs ago, and im not gg to stop u now. see la getting all emo already.. hai~ just dun be an arse.. u know wad i mean ..haha

yeap well as far as i can see the next few days, much to my misery, will still be devoted to my books .. life suddenly seems dull again.. oooooooooooooooooo life goes on.......................

here's a shout out to everyone: MY BLOG IS VIRUS-FREE NOW!
decided to do away with the song until i find a proper webspace.. anyway overdose of nice music just dun work for me. so this is it.. back to the quiet blog =)


and becos i haven been writing (due the lack of time, mood and most imptly, life), i decided to paste a portion of an email tt ive written this morning to my sistas. pretty much sums up wad ive been doing these days..

here it goes...

....why am i the last one to end when im only taking 3 papers??!!??? with one down, i still have 14 days to go.. shld i be grateful for the time i have to slowly stroll thru revision or shld i be pissing mad at the lousy exam schedule tt those sitting in aircon office doing brainless jobs have came up with??

and by strolling, i dun literally mean strolling cos there's sooooooo sooooosoooooooo much to be read and learnt.. life's not fair!! why cant the already-tortured-for-so-many-yrs and still struggling final year get an easier time with the freaking papers...the last of which she'll take in her life (as she prays)??!?!!?!?

why must the possibility of not making the mark and repeating a subject dawn on her only at this junction, a split second from the finishing line?? why is it so tough on her?? why is she drowning with self-pity, in front of her lappie and with the seemingly most brain cell intoxicating book rite beside her, complaining to her dear frens who are having much easier time (as she hoped), at 1053 a.m., an hour after getting outta bed??????

this is the daily routine she's set for herself.

1) brain awake but body wanna have more quality time in bed
2) body finally drag itself outta the cosy nest
3) brain starts to convince body tt she's not ready for action yet
4) body half-heartedly take out 'events for the day' list and collects the rite books
5) brain fails to get body back to bed but body and brain come to a compromise
ie. body believes tt it is not ready and thus, starts to have a lot of self-pity, refuses to start work and starts blaming life...
6) body and brain finally resign to fate and begin to do something constructive (hopefully)..by then it'll be almost noon...

oh yah b4 i end off, yun, congratulatons! welcome to the SUFFERING club of the s'pposed intellects... okie im being sacarstic but yesh, its no fun! esp at this time.. i freaking hate the world!!!!!!!!! whahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.. still love u babes =) ... see its acting on me again.. the incoherent and contradictary mind.. alrite ill stop b4 i get overboard!!
xoxo, wenn



the seemingly abandoned blog is not abandoned.

cant seem to study much today.. must be the friday effect... as the sunset, im pretty sure ill get the friday nite syndrome again... i wanna go homeeeeeeeeeeeeee............. been thinking abt it the whole day since i woke up.. shld i stay? shld i go? went to the desolated function rm earlier this afternoon and read 3 pages in 45 mins! tt's how distracted i am... tho the crowd came later after most of them finished their morning paper, the room still feels empty..or probably cos im somewhere else... managed to convince myself to run thru 2 chapters and tt's it.. i cant take it anymore!!! i wanna goooooooooooo homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... hurhurhurhurrrrr... doesnt help tt stupid yh has been tempting me with the option of gg for a movie!! ..and im actually considering it... wad was i thinking?!?!?!?!

help..help...help......
think i might just go home.......................maybe.......................

okie im finally done.. with the last report and presentation slides... feels gd but the process is painful.. editing and editing and editing non-stop.. really sux.. and i din do any revision at all these 3 days.. not good.. i need to study.. relli... after screwing up coursework for 306, i realized it is not impossible (double negative.. sounds more comforting perhaps.. ) to still see me ard next sem..

im screwed.
hate it.
stressed.


since morning i had a very bad feeling cos dubtub's april fool's day msg reminded me tt i shld guard against nasty pranks today..haha so when his afternoon msg came asking me if ill be in hall tonite, i smugly told him to cut it out.. to my surprise, he din come with paint or water bombs. instead was a sweet stalk of rose..yes, on april fool's day.. first time receiving flowers on this day.. haha thx dude, and was reli nice catching up with u =) .... this aside, i really hope the disappointing news tt made my day so gloomy was meant to be a joke...

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