was out with my cuz today, went to ac nielson for a briefing and then to her fav steamboat and then we yakked for hours in the car b4 i finally went up... talked abt a certain issue which we kinda have differing opinions. i do see her point abt how u gotta be cruel to be kind but somehow or rather, i dun think ill ever be able to do tt and i also kinda doubt the outcome of the suggested course of action becos a fren once taught me tt wad u think is gd for others may not be wad is reli gd for them. so rite now, im act having a lot mixed feelings.. and the idea tt ur actions affect a lot more pple than u can ever think of just make things even more difficult... well wadever it is, maybe i shld just take one step at a time and see how things go since its not exactly a burning issue rite now =)

anyway, i think i reli have a way to further upset myself cos my irritating fingers just wld not stop clicking on the stuff tt i shldnt be reading.. yup i read stuff tt kinda puts me in a worse state than b4.. act only 2 words to be exact.. yeah edd's rite abt me always doing things tt i know will make myself upset.. hate the way i think, hate my curiosity, hate my stubborn self, hate the way i hold on to my ideals, hate the way i always hope for miracle, hate the way i rationalize actions, basically i just hate the way i am...

it certainly doesnt help tt tom, or later i shld say, i gotta be at kalllang by 815am for the remaining of last week's matches and im still very wide awake now.... someone pls knock me outttttttt....