On CNY eve, I witness a sensational test of wits, guts, character and friendships. I've never thought a simple game of poker could bring so much out of a person. I'm truly impressed. And I'm glad I had the luxury to sit back and observe. Since I've always been pretty oblivious to most things and happenings around me, taking the back seat halfway through the game has given me a perfect opportunity to verify and ascertain my own judgment and the hearsay. I must say that even though I was completely squashed at 7 am in the morning, this eye-opener was definitely time well spent!

I think I'm falling in love with poker...

On a side note, I still think mj is the most intellectual game ever invented! And I'm absolutely voting against people who likes to hit tiles fast just for the sake of playing a fast game, thinking that fast players are the best players... Speed thinking is the essence of the entire game. So pls, use your brains...

Poker + MJ = X-treme mind sport!!! Loving 'em!

For the past few nights, I've been having the same thoughts on my mind before I fall asleep at night. I'm a little outta sorts I guess. I thought I've already decided to abandon the entire idea just a few months back but why am I thinking about it again now???

I've to say that learning about certain happenings and being on the receiving end of certain treatment all over again are most possibly the reasons why I think about the same person/thing these few nights. I'm shock at how the intensity has grown since it started about.... say 4-5 months ago... And what's more shocking is that I could so totally put L outta the picture. Like he doesn't exist at all. Like I'm all ready for a brand new beginning. I wonder if there's ever a single moment that this feeling is mutual. I doubt so tho... this is the part that gets me down I guess... To be honest, I don't think there's any chance that this would work out... I don't even know if I really want anything to work out! But the thought of it just makes me happy...

So what really are you thinking about right now? I really hope to find out someday....hopefully soon?? Hmmm.. or maybe not... this could just be an infatuation after all..... Alright, I just don't know what I want. Period.

I know it's a little late to say hi to 2009. We're exactly 2 weeks into 2009 already but HELLO!! anyway... Didn't I just turned 25 not too long ago??? and now what? I'm 26?!??!!?!?... it's freaking the s*** outta me!....Am I getting too old for everything I used to do and too young for everything I wish I was doing??? I know it sounds confusing. I'm confused myself. There's just a subtle feeling of being outta place... Am I the only one feeling this way abt crossing the quarter century mark? ... I really wonder....


When I was 12, I remember telling my bestie, K, my ideal age to settle down with someone is 27 and by then, we wld have gone out for a good 3-4 yrs. We may be married or we may not ever get married but we'll be each other's de facto partner for life... It's like having someone to go home to, knowing that someone will be there for you, and knowing that you will be there for that special someone. It's a kind of commitment we give to each other, knowing tt's gg to be the way for the rest of our lives. We wld have adopted a kid or two and we'll have cute little puppies. When we're both covered with a full head of grey, we'll be sitting on an old bench in a park, eating french fries with our mouths full of dentures... I'll still hold his hand, he'll still call me baby... Tt'll be a perfect life for me. Nothing extravagant, no fancy cars or mega-sized homes, no glamorous jobs or titles.. And I got it all thought out when I was 12. haha... Looking back, well... I guess life is a lot more complicated than I imagined when I was 12. I've 1 more year to make all these happen.. no actually, I can't. I wldn't have gone out with anyone for a good 3-4 yrs b4 I turn 27, would I??? The way I look at it, there goes my 'perfect' life. How can something so simple be so complicated? I'm not afraid to admit that there are moments that I feel sorry for myself for being alone at the age of 25/26... Whatever happened to the simple bliss? Don't get me wrong. I'm not abt to wallow in self-pity and I'm no longer hung up over any particular someone. I just really wonder why and how life can be so screwed up when all I'm after, really, is that bit of something called commitment...

Now that I'm no longer 12, perhaps I shld review my idea of a perfect life at 25/26 for some form of consolation... who knows, maybe my new 'perfect' will be even more perfect?! haha.. see what I mean by consolation...

Anyways, Hello 2009! I can't stop you from coming but since you came, you better be good! =P And to 2008, you've definitely left a prominent mark in my mind. I shall bid you a final farewell but rest assured, you'll be remembered for the many many lessons you've taught me... Adios 2008!! Au revoir 2008!!! So long, farewell....