My cheeks are bright red and my pulse rate is accelerating so quickly now, it's enough to alert my GP to call an ambulance right now...
I just did the unthinkable!......... Oh noooooo..........
What have I just done????

I hope it wasn't too abrupt, I hope the blushing on my cheeks was not noticeable.. I hope my embarrassingly loud heartbeat wasn't heard. I hope I didn't look silly...

Most of all, I hope I didn't cross the line.

I'm not sure. He left almost immediately, in a flash, like he can't wait to vanish...

I know I must have looked like a fool. I scurried my short legs to the lift and jubilantly skipped my way home. I gushed like a high school girl who's just returned home from her first date with her crush.

I've never felt like doing this before or more so I've never had to do this before. I don't know where all the courage came from. Maybe it's the urge I've been feeling all night, maybe it's the hug that I've been waiting for all these time.

Even though it wasn't quite exactly a hug, and I was really freaking out, afraid that my weighty mass would drop from his skinny arms, and perhaps to him it's probably all for laughs, I actually like it. It made me feel closer to him... made me feel like maybe he's not so distant after all...

The irony is I actually enjoyed that few seconds of fear, wishing it would last longer...

Well, at the saner back of my mind, I know all these could amount to nothing at all. I've to admit this thought sucks. Kicks my snowballing feelings all the way back down to the bottom of the valley. I guess I can understand from all the reasons that I've heard and therefore accept it. It's sad but well... I let this silly little girl in me take over willingly... I guess I just have to be prepared, come what may...

Yes, I know, I love pain. He's prob right...hai~......
But as of now, I'm still happy. Happily grinning........ heh......


F.O.W > pls don't be mad at me, i'll always always love you. nothing's gonna change! you know tt!! hehehe...

Edd > i know you're thinking 'wtf is gg on??!?!'...... you can call.... i'll tell everything... i just dunno how to start...... and yes, i promise i won't run back to u and sob when i get bruised and battered (what's new right??).. i deserved it, i know =(