Sometimes, it's better not to have a choice, so there's nothing to compare, nothing to decide on, no pros and cons analysis to do... when you don't have a choice, you don't think and you'll just make the best of the situation. Shits happen but life still goes on. Period.

So the choice of having no choice could be the best choice to make.

Anyway, what makes you think that I don't write you love letters at all? =)
I do, all the time... cos all I ever think about, really, is you.... you just don't read this that's all.... here's another one for you =)


My tea's gone cold,
I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad


I drank too much last night,
got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me
and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad...


The thought of you keeps me going... the anticipation of your call every night keeps me waking up in the wee hours checking if I've missed any of them... and the counting down to your return makes every minute crawl and drives me up the wall... I'm trying hard to keep my cool, my sanity...

You just don't know this is how important you are to me.... already....
Sometimes, it hurts when you sound like you're dealing okay and you only have that 5 minute to spare with nothing sweet to say. But I'm still glad you try to call everyday. I try my best not to have expectations, to be happy with whatever you can offer. I'm still very happy and comfortable, even with status quo. I try to convince myself everyday...

Yes, there're times I feel weak, I feel insecured, I feel frustrated, I feel scared, I feel like backing out, I feel I deserve better and there's nothing else I can do or say to make you reciprocate. Sometimes, it hurts so badly, I get so scared, I cry myself to sleep at night. I know very well that it's so easy for you to walk away from all these, I know you don't need me around. I know there could be a day that you wake up and decide that you can't have me in your life anymore. I know I could end up more broken than ever. But whenever I think about the regrets I've had 5yrs ago, I know I just can't let you slip by me this time... How often do we get a third chance...

Someday, just someday, I hope you'll tell me you have had the same regrets and you'll never leave me in pain. I hope you'll believe in love again... *my little silent prayer*